5th draft

Nothing seemed to mark the return of spring better than the return of the blue jays and robins to my mothers garden. There presents marked the return of a natural order coming back into place. Tree's bloomed, flowers grew and for the first time while walking home. I realized that for the first time I had seen the apperience of my shaddow. It hadn't changed much since the last time I saw it a year ago. It was still the same size of skinny on the arms. Small on the legs and big on the ears. A perfect composed picture of the teenager who in two months from now would be graduating from New Roe Country High School. Except that the shaddow wasn't a perfectly composed picture of me. It had flaws in it that weren't discernable at first glance. Because nothing about my shaddow had expressed how I longed for my shaddow to change in almost the way I had wished that I, myself could change. Just like the way I had seen my friends. Graduation opened the hope that I could achieve some form of change. But than agian there was relavily nothing more I could do past marking the days till graduation. Which at the moment were two stinkingly long months.

March had probably gone by faster than I imagined it to be. Except that for me it had felt like a year. I begrundginly did my chores that month and moped and sighed everytime my anoying alarm clock woke me up for school. My mother quickly picked up that something was wrong and decided to find a way to solve my issues with the quick dial of a phone and a smile. It took her a few clicks of the phone and few minutes to spare for her to enrolled me in a program which she said helped teenagers to do better socialy and academicly in school. By giving them guote on quote “interaction time with kids who would be a possitive support for them through an enhanced knowledge of the board game Risk.” It was the biggest peice of nouncence I had ever heard at the time. I couldn't imagine how playing a board game, somehow my intellegence would grow. But I guess it was just one of those things I would have to go through before senior year. It didn't cost me a dime to be in the program so I didn't care much. I did just as mom said.

During my first few weeks at taking the program every friday. Not a world was spoken by myself or the kids who played the board game either. Making it feel like the longest three weeks of my life. Until one of the kids of the group decided decided to make the first move and brake the silence with just eighteen words and a firm handshake.

“Hi dude my name is Mark, this is Sarah and the kid in the Vader mask is Elliot”.

In just a few words the air for conversation was created and now I would finaly have the chance to converse with these kids freely.

As the weeks progressed I openly spoke to my new friends about myself and was equaly given knowledge about who they were. I learned over time that my assumptions of Mark, Elliot and Sarah wasn't fair because each kid had a story of there own. Which if there was one kid. Who I would learn that my assumptions about him were completetly out of line. It would have to be Elliot Price. Elliot Price was the bigggest loner if there ever was one. He always sat by himself and althought I had never paid much head to him in High School. While at the program I decided to take a chance to inquire more about him.

My chance came six days later when while leaving Ms.Flangger's history class. I saw Elliot walking right behind me. I called out “hey Elliot” Elliot looks at me and say's.

“O hey Nick. How are you?”

“I'm good”

I respond back as we walked to the main enterence of the New Roe High school building. I ask Elliot if hes going to risk today and he responds that he is. But that he wasn't in the mood that day. The doors to the New Roe building close as Elliot and I walked to the train stations three blocks away. Elliot doesn't say much as we walk so I decide to ask him why about how his day is going .He says fine and the conversation begins in a friendly tone. I tell Elliot a bit about myself and he does the same as we ride to program.

When we arrive at the program that friday. I quickly retreat to the board game. I game progresses and I am soon occupied by the lose of my territories in North Africa by Mark. Mark takes over the territory and I am eliminated in four terms. I had never seen anyone who played as good of Mark. I ask him what his secret is and he takes a poem from his backpack called Invictus. Which read. “I am the master of my fate:I am the captain of my soul.”

“How does that relate to stratagy” I ask him as I grab my backpack. Mark replies.

“Everything. It's about knowing your oponent and remembering that he doesn't control the Fate of the game you do.”

“Ohh. Makes sense”

I reply back before leaving for the train to New Roe. The trian ride to New Roe isn't a long one. I sit down in the front cart and close my eyes. Marks words come to my head and I imagine that some how those words must work for him but not for me. Some people just can't change there fate I tell myself like the fate of me ever going to change and I believe it as I walk to my room and lay in my bed thinking about the future.

The future or maybe that is the months go by fast. April comes and to my surprise alot happends that Month.Starting with me recieing an invitation to a party Elliot was having at his house. It's a karokee party that barely anyone seems to go to except me, Elliot and his mom. We sing a few songs together and than Elliot and I go to the park outside his house.It's a quite park with few tree's just the way Elliot likes it. We sit down by the grass and our shaddows start to form.Elliot doesn't notice this though because me and him are busy talking about graduating. I think he's made a real freind in me. Time passes as we speak and before long I find myself leaving his house thanking his mom for the fun evening. Elliots mom replies the Honor is mine and closes the door

The next day I catch Elliot in class and he seems more happy. He has a smile which seems to be growing as I see him. If I wonder I could be this way. But I guess time would tell another story.I go back to my locker and start clearing it out..When I would catch glance of Emily Lively. She shares a locker right next to me and is also clearing her locker of last semestors books. Emily closes her locker and carries the books on her arms. The weight of all the books are to much for her arms to carry. Her arms give in to gravities pull and she is on the floor in seconds trying to pick up the mess of books which are now scatered over the floor. An anxious panic grips her. Not letting her see me reaching out to help her to pick up her books. Twenty seconds later it registers in her mind that the stranger crouching down next to someone she knows.She puts her hand on my shoulder and turns to look at me trying to make sence of the face she see's but doesn't seem to know.

“I'm Nick Dawson” I tell her between the breaks I get from picking up the books and looking at her.

“Ohh, Nick. She says “I know you. well I don't know you, know you. I just know I have seen you in my english class.”

“Yeah” I respond back.

I help Emily pick up her books. When I notice that one of the books is a book about flowers.I tell that I love flowers and she responds so do I. I ask if maybe she would like to go to the botaniqual gardens with me next Saturday since she likes flowers. She says that would be cool and she would like that.

Emily picks up her backpack and says see you Saturday. I reply defidently and walk back to my locker.

I think this May might just be right.

The Saturday when I see Emily. I don't tell her it's my first time at the gardens. I just smile and go along with things. Which includes smelling and touching every flower known to man or at least known to Emily. Since she had the habit of touching everything she saw. Emily loves flowers and I find that hanging out with her becomes even fun when we start conversing about each other. I learn alot about her that Saturday. When I leave the gardens I come out smelling like a flower. But I dont mind because I had alot of fun talking to Emily. Who recomends we try this every Saturday. I agree I could tell from our conversations that day that me and Emily were becoming real friends. At school I even get invited to sit with Emily. I except the invite because it beats sitting with Tom Bergen and his groups of friends who just talk about suduko every lunch period. I invite Elliot to sit with us and soon our table is fitted just right.

The next friday at the risk night in the park. I almost win if it wasn't for Elliot. Who beat me two moves ahead of me. On the train ride home from risk I ask Elliot how he won and he say's “He didn't you just forgot to turn in your cards for more troops. You would have won if you turned in your cards.” Wow I think to myself on the way home. If only I had played my cards right. Speaking of cards. I tell Elliot as I am about to leave. “I tell him how much fun I have been having with Emily at the botanical gardens.” Elliot laughts “Have fun. Just don't forget to play your cards right.”

The next time I would see Emily would be on the last friday of risk night. I still hadn't won a game yet. However I thought Erica would like it.So I invite her to come along and she does. She sits there quitly and watches me as I play. I start the round of with relatively little thought except to just win.The round starts off slow with me taking over different territories on the map. Mark who is an excelent player though keeps a step ahead of me and keeps me on my toes in thought. I want to win so badly and the thought of winning on this last day of risk slowly comes out when I tell Elliot who is talking to Emily to shut up. Elliot doesn't last long in the game. He is gone after just 15 turns on the board. Leaving the board to just me and Mark. Mark just let me win I joke as I role agianst his two. He replies not a chance and I laugh it off. Even though I seriously want to win. I role my dice a few more turn and than take a card. The win blows my card from off the table and it is than. That I notice that in the stream of playing the game. I didn't notice that the risk board had in its own way taken a shaddow of it's own along the table. The board was now lighting up in a way agianst the backdrop of my game. Mark rolls a few more turns and starts getting more territory. I worry but I know I can't do much so I just roll as the turn comes. Concentration I like to think will win a game so I stay focus and keep playing. I play and play until finaly I decide hey I need to use to use the bathroom. When I return back

there is a certian look on Marks face.That says something of a cross between something is wrong here and uhh wow that awesome.

“What wrong mark”

I ask. He says

“look at the board.”

I look at the board and it looks the same.

“No look at the board agian. Emily tell him look at the board.” he says

Emily giggles and says bud look at the board.

She gets up from talking to elliot and whispers in my ear.

“I think you just won.”

“Noooo way” I say in shock as I grab my breath. Mark smiles and puts his hand on my back and says you earned it. Mark walks out of the park before I have time to say goodbye with Elliot.

It's 5:00 along Central Park. I'm sitting with Emily on top of a rock that over looks the park. It's beautiful isn't it I tell her as I bask in the sun of the park. I still believe I won the game. I think to myself as I glance over at Emily her shaddow is just about right and it makes me think of my shaddow. So I turn over and there it is. Except that it's grown now. It's alot bigger than me now. It's legs are taller and the arms are alot larger. It's changed and for the first time in my life. I realize maybe the game was right. I did win or maybe I just learned a way to win. I smile at Emily and she points out it is beautiful as we watch the sun set along the manhattan skyline.